Master Yoshi has traveled long and far to study the ancient art of sidewalk surfing. This curb dog has hit the pavement with the best of the best, and the worst of the worst in his quest for plywood perfection. And now, he has his very own column. That's right! Why, you say? Consider this. You are probabaly a poser and you probably are really, really bad. Its alright, though. The Master is here to help. Yoshi knows his stuff. Email your stupid questions here. Also, be sure to check out Yoshi's Sick Sad World website here. Yoshi what are you listening to on your mp3 player when you are skating? Well that is a good question not like any of you would appreciate my music. I start off with a little Pink Floyd to get the nerves calmed down and i can focus becuae i am probley jacked up on some kind of energy drink or some mass amounts of coffee. Then I will go into stuff like Queen or Twisted Sister. I also have some Motley Crue, the Who, Beatles, Andrew W.K. mixed in there for some good measure. Then again i change my songs up everyday i go out skating. I just hook up the little satans helper to the big satans helper called my puter and up date all the time. Really depends on my mood. Like i said i have music that alot of you out there havent really listened to, but you should give it a try who knows you just might like it you mongoloids! Yoshi you have the heel flip varials and heel big flips on lock. What advice can you give me on keeping them under control? Well thanks for the compliment on my skating. Compliments will get you far in life. At any rate the biggest problem spot that i see most people having with any heel flip tricks is the fact you all like to hang your frickin toes REALLY far over the edge. I know it is called a heel flip but dont take it to the extreme here. The best way that i have found to keep things under control is to actually use the ball of your foot. Sounds weird just like most of my ramblings but take a look at my heel big flips some time and then try to second guess me. Stand on your board like you are going to ollie but put that front foot slightly closer to your heel edge. you want the ball of your foot like at the bottom of the concave of your board. The trick here is your going to let the concave of your board do the work for you. Pop the board and flick the foot for a heel flip and you should find it easier to keep that pesky useless wooden toy under control. Yoshi what do you think of the Michael Jackson trial going on right now? Ok let me get one thing straight here. I am a skater with the nick name of yoshi. I dont have a talk show and have a cool name like Larry King. So like my views really mattter on anything relevent. If you really want to know what my views are I warn you now i can say some really retarded things when it comes to this kind of thing. So if you are offended by anything that i have to say.... well as my friend Dustin would say, "Aint my fault". So lets get some things straight here. First off we have this guy that looks like he should be from another planet. Not all his fault mind you. i mean his nose is actually a medical fuck up. He got a shoddy plastic surgeon for his first nose job which actually was really good.(look at the Thriller album) Then it began to collapse and had to try to get it fixed and what we have now is the end result of that. So if you have a hankering to get some work done just look at Jacko to see what the worst case scenario could be. Now as for the white black man. He has a skin condition that creates white blotches and seeing that he is in the public eye he kinda wanted to make his skin all the same color. There really can only be one disfigured black man in the music industry and that would be Seal. His hair is kinda jacked up from a stupid pepsi ad that he did in the 80s that caused him to turn into a human firework. Hence why we must always be careful when playing with sparklers. Unfourtanatly for this guy alot of people like to judge on appearances and shit. Shallow oh so shallow. We see it all the time skating like when someone has a Bam H.I.M. shirt on we all think to ourselves that kid is such a fruity poser even though he did just stick a tre flip tailslide to fakie down that ten stair rail. We all know he was in the tabloids for a while with all the kooky stuff that he would do. I still cant forget the sleeping in a tube bit. That little stunt made him number one kook in my books. Well kiddies he actually set that all up for P.R.!!! Yes retarded i know. He has not done all the brightest things in the world. Now as for the little boy thing. Well i can stick up for him so much because we all hate to admit it he is very talented. As for the kid thing.... well yeah i think he is not all that innocent. I mean the first time this all happened he settled out of court for a undisclosed amount of money. That looks shadey as hell. His people claim they did it to keep it out of the lime light. It looked too much like a buy off to me. Heres some money dont tell no one i touched your pepe. Well just like all things that rich people do and get away with one day things will catch up with you and no amount of money will be able to get you out of this one. You would figure one close call and you would quit doing whatever the hell you were doing. Call it your one get out of jail free card. but Like someone once told me rich people have more money then brains. I personally think the whole thing is sick and disturbing. Even more disturbing then Bill Weiss skating naked! He should of just kept his hands to himself. Personally i hope that he is found guilty of this and is punished appropriately to show all the other celebs out there they cannot get away with everything. That kook Martha Steward dosent count because she was already going down hill in a hurry. Kmart, come on, whenever a celeb does a kmart spokesperson thing their career ends. God forbid actually having merchandise with your flippin name on it! Jackson is so screwed and if he gets away with it well that will trully tell the rest of the world how screwed up it is here. One of two things could come of that though. 1.) immigrants will be afraid to come here. which woo hoo more fucking jobs for us AMERICANS. Who would of thunk that an american having an AMERICAN JOB! 2.) All the worlds nasties will come over here thinking that if they have money they can do whatever they want. I think he should go to jail and have some nasty inmate rub his pepe for a while and see how he likes it. On second thought he would probley like that a whole bunch and well with his money he would just have his own personal jail built anyways. Just as long as it dosent have a juvenile detention area attached to it. Yoshi what do you think of composite decks? That is a weird question just like the decks themselves. Compsite decks are weird creatures. I have had the honor of skating one of these for friend that runs a shop to test it out and what not. Composite decks are slightly heavier then your standard 7ply deck. If you are thinking of trying one of these out my suggestion would be to purchase a lighter truck set up. Im an Independent person and even though the stage 9 indys are light it still feels like a ton. The other thing about the composite decks is that they have a little more flex then a normal deck so it will take you like a half hour to get used to the bounce that it will cause. The cool thing about the bounce from the flex is once you get used to it you can actually use it to help with certain tricks. One of the other advantages of the composite decks is that they are a lot harder to break. Trust me i tried! i tried to land off set on purpose and even tried to focus the damn thing! So if you are one of those people who like to try new things this might be just up your alley. If your one of the mongoloids that break a lot of decks and think that this will help you out, be warned that in order to get the durability you have to make some sacrafices like weight. Whats it like to compete at big comps with big names riding in them? Well one word for you all on that one,,,,,STRESSFUL! I go to alot of the comps with the attitude that i am going to do better this time around i have some new tricks up my sleeves that no one has seen yet and then i get there. Once there everything kinda changes. First off the course might be a tad different then what you were expecting and shit. Next off you have all these things going through your head like hell yeah i am going to kick ass this year then you have someone stick a switch kickflip back smith grind down some huge hubba ledge!! Ok i will at least make it to the top 10. Then as the day goes on you see some incredable skating going on and your just like "shit i know i am good and all but its time to get down to business!" Thats usually when i step up the speed and the bigness of the tricks that i am working on for my run. As for the big names that have shown up, a lot of them are cool as hell when you get to talk to them. I usually have someone like my girlfriend record a lot of what is going on with the other runs because i just dont like to watch them before my run. It is kind of intimidating at times and there are a lot of different skating styles out there and you begin questioning what you are going to do in your run and if your style is any good. Thats when you loose focus and once that occurs GOOD LUCK! Thats the other reason that if anyone has seen me at an event like tampa i have been listening to an mp3 player with noise cancelling headphones on. Just so i can get in my zone and do my best. The best part of the big comps is the talking to others in the industry and meeting various people like Jamie Thomas. Then there are the parties,,,,oh yes the parties,,, these things are good stress realeavers and a good time to blow off steam. Me personally the night before my heat I like to get hammered! Kinda weird but it helps clear my head and what not and i just cannot explain it but i skate better hungover! Yoshi why dont you go to hell you are an ass hole! Well this one was a good one that i got at the park the other day when i was picking on someone. Well this is a two part question that is easy to answer. The first part, why dont i go to hell? Well you see i have been there already and lost the shirt. You see they kicked me out, but not for the same reasons a lot of mongoloids will tell you. The other mongoloids out there like to come back with "hell kicked me out because they were afraid i was going to take over" HA HA that is a good one, but lame. My reason why hell kicked me out was due to the fact that i wasnt trying to take it over but re form it and save it by spray painting "Jesus Saves!!" on the walls! Yeah well hell didnt like that all too much so they gave me the ol heave ho! Now the second part to the question being why am i such an ass hole? Most the time i am not an asshole you just dont have a damn sense of humor! Either that or your just being a flippin RETARD and snaking people or starting crap where we skate. DONT SHIT WHERE YOU EAT!! Leave the drugs at home or in your car, leave the little groupies of yours at home or keep them on a damn leash! Most of all dont frickin SNAKE PEOPLE! for all the "special" people out there snaking is cutting people off and not giving others there turn at an obsticle. Its called respect you ungrateful creatins! Yoshi you smell not all that pretty lately. Ok now this is another one i got around at the places i skate and also some of my crew have mentioned it. Yes kiddies i have turned into that smelly heshin you try to avoid at the park or where ever you may ride at. This is due primarily to the fact i now have a cat at home that i have nicknamed stinky kitty. This little shit for brains likes to leave presents here and there because he gets pissed i am never home. right now i am in the process in fixing all this crap! Just be patient with me for the time being and it will all be fixed soon. I appologize for my unsavory aroma. Can a 39 year old ride at an indoor skatepark or any skatepark for that matter? Can a 39 year old ride at a skatepark? Thats easy,,,,,,HELLL YEAH!!!!!!!!!! it dosent matter how old you are you can ride where ever and whenever you want. That is the best part of this thing you call either a hobby or a sport. Age does not matter. If you have the will to do it and the love and the drive then you can do it. And if there are mongoloids there giving you sass well they dont know yet but one day they will be the old guy still skating and having the younger generation either looking up to them or giving them flack. Either way you slice it, you do what the hell you want to do! and have fun doing what you want to do! I get slack all the time, it bothers me from time to time but i just keep skating and doing what i do. Im here to show the younger generation that just because you are older then they are dosent mean you lose the skill or cannot pick up new tricks. That old saying that you cant teach and old dog new tricks is a blatent lie devized by old people to give them an excuse to be lazy!!!!!! I learn new stuff all the time!! new flip tricks, re learning tricks, or new grinds. Your not a teenager any longer,,,,SO WHAT!!!! Your an adult and you can do what ever you want! So it be voting, buying liqour, smokes, porn, or even skateboarding!! Do what makes you happy. Stay young at heart and you shall never age but in years! Hey, I just started skating again and my board is a soggy peice of shit.. Where can I get some cheap gear that will last long enough for me to get my skills back? Hey whats up. Finally a legit question and not yoshi why is the sky blue. Anyways your gear is worn huh and you want some good stuff without takening it up the tail pipe without any lube or the common curtosy of the reach around. Well head over to blackmarketskateboards.com they have awsome gear at really affordable prices! Yoshi, I tried to enter this big contest and they told me I wasn't skating for a "legitimate" company. What does that mean? Should I quit skateboarding? J.J. Dunn Well well well lookie its j.j.dunn. the one person to watch skate because hes all about keepin it real and skating for the REAL reason to skate...having fricken fun! so j.j. ya bring up a good question to my retarded kings court here. they wont let you have fun due to illegit bastard sponsors. all that means is that the people you ride for has not either A) been reconized in the industry as existing or B) the company you ride for hasnt done the proper ass kissing to be reconized..either way its all political bullshit and well thats what makes anything successful go around. its nothing to quit over.so what your ride is not legit. thats NOT what skating is about. skating is about having fun! if you get sponsored well thats a bonus. if you dont so what your having fun. its like sex..if ya hook up with someone like angelina jolie..bonus. but if you hook up with a cutie ya like in the area, so what your still gonna have fun! and your gonna get more out of it in the long run anywhose! What wheels are best for all-around skating? I've heard great things about the old Vision wheels. Sorry for the late response, but the shop owner was being a fucking retarded prick sucker and put a ban on the computer. Anywhose, he probably kicked me out for not putting out, and now I'm doing this on my cell phone. So the best all around wheels would be the ones made of urethane, white preferably. White is the purest, no dyes to break down the urethane. Vision wheels are pretty good, but your best bet are round wheels made of urethane with recessed circles for the bearings. Would you consider anyone who wears protective gear a poser? Cause I dislocated my elbow, and now want to wear elbow pads constantly, and some consider me a poser for it. You dislocated an elbow and now people call you a poser for wearing a elbow pad? How fricken retarded! Just because you wear pads doesn't make you a poser. I hyper extended my elbow like 2-3 inches and wore a elbow pad for a month. I even skated at the Detroit Warped Tour with it on! People who judge others by what they wear or what tricks they can do are true posers. They dont know what skating is all about. IT'S ABOUT HAVING FUN! So sport the pads and when someone calls you a poser, bust a fat trick, then laugh and roll away knowing they're an asshole and you're the shit! Yoshi, I cant seem to get my k-grinds locked in. What am I doing wrong? Well, if you cant seem to get them locked in, try a different combination. You know, like 2..10..11. You know, eyes, fingers, toes. But seriously, what you are probably doing wrong is not commiting, or your not staying above your board. Ollie up just a hair higher than the obsticle and lie it down nicely (thats the problem with alot of people. They just want to slam it in there like a two dollar whore and wonder why the front truck bounced right back off the obsticle, or stopped). Then you will want to lean a hair back and try not to lay too much of your nose down, as this messes up your balance and slows you down. Then you just nollie-pop that hunny right out of there. Yoshi, how do I go about gettting sponsored by Notanotherskateboardzine? Now why would you want to get sponsored by us? We are a bunch of goofs that would request stupid things, like video footage of you getting swirlies in the mens bathroom at a rest stop, or something just for our own personal amusement. But really, getting sponsored isn't all that is skateboarding. There are so many out there that just think about is getting sponsored. They forget what it is like to skateboard and that your doing it for the fun and the freedom of expression. Sometimes you have to be in the right place at the right time. Other times you just need to send in a video to the company that you want to be sponsored by (nude pictures of your hot older sister helps, too). So dont be e-mailing companies or posting messages on the message board with all your trick lists. We dont really care whether or not your good enough. Your skating will do the talking for you. It also helps if you like the smell of stink stars and can make the shape of a donut with your mouth. Yoshi, is it true you had to skate like 50 miles to get to a skateboard contest on time? Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I did skate that far to the Volcom warehouse to compete in Damn Am 2002. Stupid move on my part. I looked at the map and said that isn't too far. I forgot I was looking a the map in LA scale, not Chicago scale. IT SUCKED, DONT DO IT. IT'S LIKE 14+ HOURS AND IF YOU HIT HUNTIGTON BEACH AT 2AM ITS A LONG SPOOKY WALK!! I also slept on park benches the entire week of the comp, too, because I landed in LA with only like $2.50 in my pocket. I am a die hard and not very easliy discouraged. I think stupidity plays a role in there, too! Yoshi, what are the best bearings to skate with? The best bearings to skate with are the ones that roll nicely. Abec ratings are nothing but a gimmick and deal mainly with electric motors. Seeing that we don't skate motors, the only thing the abec rating truly means is price. Granted, the higher rated bearings might feel smoother, but they really aren't. I have tried abec 3's, 5's, 7's, and 9's and I skated fast on all of them. Then there are the 9 ball bearings. Now, if you can find these, especially ceramic ones, then by all means pick them up. Ceramic does not crush, or pit like metal, and the weight is more evenly distributed, making these puppies strong as hell. Now, taking care of them, on the other hand, is a whole other issue. I could ramble on and on about that. Hmmmm, maybe I will write a colum about that sometime in the near future..